I'm not ashamed to admit it…

my cat is smarter than me.

Oksana, to be specific.   Since November of 2009 my poor girl has been suffering with cystitis on and off.  It comes about every 2 months or so.  I’ve taken her to the vet several times, and they have never found anything wrong other than her bladder is inflamed.  The vet and I believe now it’s Idiopathic Cystitis, which means it’s cause is unknown and possibly stress or anxiety related.

I believe this to be what she has because Vlad and Maks drive her nuts.  Oksana is a cat that likes to keep to herself.  If she’s not in the mood for company or being touched or even looked at she’ll let you know it, and not nicely.  Vlad and Maks see this as a challenge and they bother her to no end.  So it’s no surprise she’s stressed out.

I spoke to the vet and she’s looking into medication that will A. help with the bladder issue and B. help with the stress/anxiety.  I told her it needs to be if at all possible in cream form, because trying to give Oksana a pill is like trying to stop that Gulf oil spill with a wine cork.  In a word…Impossible!

The first time she got it, I had to give her these huge pills.  I opted for just taking her to the vet every day for 10 days and having them do it.  Yeah, she was wailing like a banshee.  It was after this first episode that she acquired the huge red dot on her records folder.

The second time, they gave her a liquid antibiotic to help with the swelling and the vet told me to give her Cosequin.  During the visit I asked if they could give her the first pill and I’d take over the next day, since it was a capsule.  They went through 3 pills, she pooped on the exam table, she scratched the vet and her red dot got even bigger.

This last time, I gave her antibiotics for a few days.  She knows when I’m giving it to her.  Even if I hide the dropper.  She hides under the bed, then runs out the opposite side I’m on.  Then runs to the kitchen, and jumps up onto the top of the cabinets.  Which means I have to get the step ladder, get on the counter, grab her while she’s screaming and growling, step down the counter to the step ladder, wrap her in a towel then give her the medication, half of which goes on me.

I also decided to give the Cosequin another try as well as giving her the Xanax that didn’t work to calm Vlad down for his vet visits.  The Xanax wasn’t too difficult.  They are small, and when you split them even smaller.  She loves cheese, so for at least a few days I was able to hide the pills in cheese, until she got wise to me.  I tried sticking the pill in her food, but she’d just eat around the pill.  Crushing it isn’t really an option, because as I’ve learned with the Cosequin, it’s a crap shoot.  She may or may not eat her food.

So, I’ve settled for a happy medium, sort of.  For treats I buy them kitty crack, a.k.a. freeze dried chicken treats.  Halo makes these and are packaged as Liv-a-littles.  There is also another brand called Real Food Toppers.  I buy these and grind about half of them in my coffee grinder.  This allows me to sprinkle it over their food, and Voilà, they eat it.

Of course this doesn’t mean I’ve put one over Oksana. No, far from it.  When I feed them, she and Vlad usually sit on the counter, on opposite ends.   She watches me, I swear she does this to see if I’m doing anything to her food!  I literally have to wait until she looks the other way to put the Cosequin in her food, and then at the speed of light mix the food and make it “look” like the other little food mounds on the other plates.  Then I sprinkle a little extra of the chicken crack on her food.

Some days I win, some days she eats around the area the pill is mixed in.  This morning I had a small victory and and she ate most of the food mixed with the Cosequin.   Tonight, we’ll see.  I’ll tell you, I felt like an ass standing there at the counter, pretending to do something else as I looked at her out of the corner of my eyes, waiting for her to turn her head and not see me add the stuff to her food.

So yes, my cat is smarter than me.  Anybody got a problem with that?  Huh?  Pfft, I didn’t think so.